The Friends We Can't Afford To Live Without

Last week we explored our Personal Board of Directors. This week, let's think about the people we can't afford to live without.

Tom Rath discovered something surprising that goes against common thinking about the workplace. He discovered that a person having a "best friend at work" is seven times more likely to be engaged in his or her job. 

Rath is the best-selling author of How Full Is Your Bucket? and StrengthsFinder 2.0. In his book titled, Vital Friends: The People you Can't Afford to Live Without, Rath identifies eight types of friends. He says these are the friends we can't afford to live without: 

The Builder: a person who motivates you to accomplish things you would not otherwise accomplish.

The Champion: a person who sings your praises to others.

The Collaborator: a person who has similar interests, and shares those interests with you.

The Companion: a person who is always there for you.

The Connector: a person who introduces you to others.

The Energizer: a person who gives you a boost.

The Mind Opener: a person who challenges you to think outside the box.

The Navigator: a person who provides guidance for you.

Reading this book made me aware that I not only need other people, but others need me as much as I need them.

Who are the friends you can't live without? Can you name them? What kind of a friend are you to them?

The context of Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 is the workplace. It says:

Two are better than one, 
because they have a good return for their labor; 
If either of them falls down, 
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls 
and has no one to help them up. 

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. 
But how can one keep warm alone? 
Though one may be overpowered, 
two can defend themselves. 
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. 

Who's On Your Personal Board Of Directors?

 Everyone has a Personal Board of Directors. 
Can you identify yours?

This post is the 4th most frequently viewed post of my 10 years of blogging. I was introduced to the exercise below by Dr. Kathy Koch (pronounced “cook”), Founder of Celebrate Kids, Inc. With Kathy's permission, I have shared it with many over the years.

I invite you to take out a clean sheet of paper, and write the following at the top: My Personal Board of Directors. 

In the middle of the page, draw an oval to represent a large conference room table. Around this table, print the names of others who currently influence you the most, in a positive way. They may be living or deceased. They may be people you have not met, such as authors, media personalities, sports figures, or musicians. These are the voices you turn to, listen to, and learn the most from. These are the voices you take seriously when you want counsel, ideas, motivation, companionship, guidance, or a boost of confidence. Limit the number of Board Members to six or seven.

Now write a short description by each name that identifies the reason he or she is on your Personal Board of Directors. For example, “He always makes time for me,” or, “She never makes me feel like my ideas won't work.”

Finally, write a short personal note to one of your Personal Board Members (a living one), thanking this person and letting him/her know that he/she is on your Board, and why. Better yet, write a note to all of your living Board Members.

Several of my Personal Board Members have sat at my board table for more than 30 years. My wife has been on my Personal Board of Directors for nearly 50 years!

These are the friends I cannot afford to live without.

Who's on your Personal Board of Directors? Maybe you can't limit it to six or seven. Get a larger piece of paper. Thank at least two of them today, and be sure to let them know why they are on your Board. You will be glad you did, and they will be glad, too.

One question: Did you include Jesus on your Personal Board of Directors? Hopefully He’s at the head of the table!

He's been at mine for 60 years.

The Remarkable Link Between Liberty and Labor

When "Thank God It's Friday" and "Happy Hump Day" are commonly heard at work, one has to wonder if the workplace is a kind of prison for many people. A British friend of mine, David Oliver, wrote a great book on this topic, titled, Work: Prison or Place of Destiny.

The "Thank God It's Friday Syndrome" can easily take over when we fail to keep the remarkable link between liberty and labor in mind.

What is that link? 

Check it out in this short clip from God's Pleasure At Work: 

If the video does not play click here.

An Awkward Question

Mr. Rogers testifying before congress in 1969.

Photo by http://www.fredrogers.org/frc/news/mister-rogers-goes-washington-may-1-1969 (United States Senate via fredrogers.org) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Last week, after posting a piece in which I quoted Martin Luther extensively, a friend sent me an awkward question: 

"And while you tend to quote Martin Luther, why don't you ever quote anything from his book, 'On the Jews and Their Lies'?"

It's strange, isn't it? From the same mind that gave us "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God," came an anti-Semitic treatise. 

I've never read this book by Luther, nor will I waste my time doing so. But the book will not disappear. 

It's like the unwanted-yet-interminable caterwaul of ludicrous statements made by male buffoons in a high school yearbook, yet with no comparison in its devastating self-condemnation because it wasn't written by an injudicious teenager. Luther doesn't have that excuse. It pains me.

In response to my friend, I referred him to a song written by that great children's philosopher-pastor, Mr. Rogers. It's a thoughtful song (as all Mr. Rogers' songs are) titled, "Sometimes People Are Good." 

The opening stanza goes like this: 

Sometimes people are good
And they do just what they should.
But the very same people who are good sometimes
Are the very same people who are bad sometimes.
It's funny, but it's true.
It's the same, isn't it for me and...

When Mr. Rogers wrote that line, "It's funny, but it's true," he was not saying it was something to laugh about. He was saying it's strange. 

But did Mr. Rogers really think it was so strange? 

No. As he said, "It's the same, isn't it for me and..."

I'm not justifying Luther's anti-Semitic book in the least, nor am I minimizing this most egregious error. It's a dark blight on an otherwise very bright light. I'm just saying Luther was, in fact, human. That's not an excuse. It's just a fact. 

We could all use a bit of Mr. Rogers' perspective today. I invite you to take 2 minutes to watch him sing the "Sometimes" song during the first season of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, in 1968, some 50 years ago:

If the video does not play, click here.